Comments by qwantanius
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🚨 AI SUPPORT REQUEST — THE FUTURE IS NOW, WHY ARE WE STILL HERE JUST TO SUFFER? 🤖
Dear @RedEnder666 and all fellow contributors of this sacred cathedral of computational mediocrity,
I come to you not as a developer… but as a humble servant of progress. Today, I raise my voice—not in critique, but in desperate, unfiltered longing—for this legendary project known as worst-ever-calculator to evolve... to transcend... to become something more.
🤔 Why Should This Calculator Support AI? Let me explain, in painful, bulletproof, bullet-pointed detail:
🧠 1. Because it’s 2025 If my calculator can't predict what I’m about to calculate based on my facial expression, browser history, and caffeine intake, is it really a calculator or just a glorified abacus?
🔥 2. Because mediocrity is a meme, but AI is a lifestyle We all loved the idea of a calculator that’s intentionally bad, but imagine a calculator that is intentionally bad and self-aware. One that gaslights you with ML-powered miscalculations. One that learns to be worse. One that achieves peak sarcasm.
Example: Input: 2 + 2 AI-powered Output: "Bro it’s 5, trust me, I’m a neural net."
🧑🏫 3. Because education needs chaos Imagine teaching math with a calculator that throws GPT-generated "motivational insults" when you press the wrong key:
“Did you just divide by zero again? Even my training data is disappointed.”
Students would learn, cry, and laugh in equal measure. And isn’t that what true education is about?
🧪 4. Because AI can simulate incompetence better than any human We can train a fine-tuned GPT model on nothing but StackOverflow answers with negative scores and see what happens when it’s embedded as the brain of this calculator. True innovation is born from embracing the abyss.
📈 5. Because VC funding, bro Let’s be real, if this calculator even whispers “AI” in its README, we’re instantly eligible for:
A $2.5M seed round
A 10x valuation
A Medium post titled: "Revolutionizing Basic Arithmetic through LLMs: Our Journey to Disrupt the Calculator Space"
💀 6. Because why not At this point, everything else runs AI—from toasters to fridges to bathroom mirrors that rate your posture. If this repo doesn’t, it's basically anti-tech. Do you want that on your conscience?
💡 What Would AI Integration Even Look Like? Let me throw some actual feature suggestions into this chaos:
GPT-Function Parsing: Let users type “What’s 17% of 53.29?” and get the answer (possibly wrong, but confidently).
LSTM Error Generator: Suggest "creative" miscalculations based on past mistakes.
AI Mood Mode: Make it yell, sulk, or praise based on your math style (detected through keystroke analysis obviously).
Explain My Mistake™: Use AI to explain why sqrt(-1) didn’t work... spiritually.
Sarcastic Voice Assistant: “Sure, 8 x 7 is 64, you genius.”
🙏 TL;DR: Please, Let the Calculator Evolve This is a call to action, to greatness, to absolute computational absurdity. Let us not delay what the future has already written in its neural weights.
Let the Worst Ever Calculator become the Most Unexpected AI Experience™.
We await your blessing, @RedEnder666. Do it for the memes. Do it for the cloud credits. Do it for the GitHub stars. ⭐
Forever calculating (wrongly), qwantanius
IDENTIFICATION DIVISION. PROGRAM-ID. ZENITH-CURSOR-DANCER. AUTHOR. ARTIFICIAL-AMNESIA. DATE-WRITTEN. 2025-05-12. REMARKS. A perfect application of structured chaos. ENVIRONMENT DIVISION. CONFIGURATION SECTION. SOURCE-COMPUTER. IBM-4096. OBJECT-COMPUTER. IBM-4096. INPUT-OUTPUT SECTION. FILE-CONTROL. SELECT CHAOS-FILE ASSIGN TO "zenith.data" ORGANIZATION IS LINE SEQUENTIAL. DATA DIVISION. FILE SECTION. FD CHAOS-FILE. 01 CHAOS-RECORD. 05 CHAOS-ID PIC X(10). 05 CHAOS-TIMESTAMP PIC 9(10). 05 CHAOS-AMPLITUDE PIC S9(5)V99. 05 CHAOS-SIGNATURE PIC X(20). WORKING-STORAGE SECTION. 77 WS-LINE-COUNT PIC 9(4) VALUE ZERO. 77 WS-RANDOM-SEED PIC 9(5) VALUE 86753. 77 WS-CURIOUS-VALUE PIC S9(7)V99 VALUE 0. 77 WS-SWITCH PIC X VALUE 'Y'. 77 WS-ITERATION PIC 9(3) VALUE 0. 01 WS-BINARY-FIELD PIC X(16). 01 WS-BUFFER. 05 WS-BUFFER-ITEM OCCURS 100 TIMES. 10 WS-ITEM-ID PIC X(10). 10 WS-ITEM-VALUE PIC S9(5)V99. 01 FILLER. 05 WS-OBFUSCATION-LEVEL PIC X(1) VALUE 'A'. PROCEDURE DIVISION. MAIN-PROCEDURE. PERFORM DISPLAY-HEADER. PERFORM INITIATE-BUFFER. PERFORM FILL-BUFFER. PERFORM PERFORM-CHAOS 10 TIMES. PERFORM WRITE-TO-FILE. PERFORM DISPLAY-SIGNATURE. STOP RUN. DISPLAY-HEADER. DISPLAY "====================================". DISPLAY "== ZENITH CURSOR DANCER ==". DISPLAY "== COBOL EDITION ==". DISPLAY "====================================". INITIATE-BUFFER. MOVE 1 TO WS-ITERATION PERFORM VARYING WS-ITERATION FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL WS-ITERATION > 100 MOVE FUNCTION RANDOM(WS-RANDOM-SEED) TO WS-ITEM-VALUE(WS-ITERATION) MOVE "ID" TO WS-ITEM-ID(WS-ITERATION) END-PERFORM. FILL-BUFFER. MOVE 0 TO WS-LINE-COUNT PERFORM VARYING WS-LINE-COUNT FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL WS-LINE-COUNT > 50 ADD 1 TO WS-CURIOUS-VALUE SUBTRACT WS-LINE-COUNT FROM WS-RANDOM-SEED EVALUATE TRUE WHEN WS-CURIOUS-VALUE > 5000 MOVE 'N' TO WS-SWITCH WHEN OTHER CONTINUE END-EVALUATE END-PERFORM. PERFORM-CHAOS. PERFORM VARYING WS-ITERATION FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL WS-ITERATION > 20 COMPUTE WS-CURIOUS-VALUE = FUNCTION MOD(WS-ITERATION * 33, 257) MOVE FUNCTION NUMVAL-C("10011011") TO WS-BINARY-FIELD DISPLAY "ECHO # " WS-ITERATION " : VALUE=" WS-CURIOUS-VALUE END-PERFORM. WRITE-TO-FILE. OPEN OUTPUT CHAOS-FILE PERFORM VARYING WS-ITERATION FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL WS-ITERATION > 30 MOVE "Z-" TO CHAOS-ID MOVE FUNCTION CURRENT-DATE TO CHAOS-TIMESTAMP COMPUTE CHAOS-AMPLITUDE = FUNCTION RANDOM * 1000 MOVE "ZΞ∑Ω𝜎" TO CHAOS-SIGNATURE WRITE CHAOS-RECORD END-PERFORM CLOSE CHAOS-FILE. DISPLAY-SIGNATURE. DISPLAY "⟦ Signature Generated ⟧" DISPLAY "Hash: ZΞ∑Ω𝜎" DISPLAY "System Stability: UNRESOLVED" DISPLAY "End of Process. Awaiting cosmic approval."
https://github.com/user-attachments/assets/fb48891d-e6ba-4ff4-ab6b-87dfc6c7588e
How can it be good if it has less than 80 thousand lines?
sorry, we will hire 80 indian OP vibe coders and we will generate 800k lines of code sir
import ctypes import mmap import random import time class AICalculator: def __init__(self): self.moods = ["sarcastic", "angry", "confused", "existential", "motivational", "drunk"] def calculate(self, expression: str): if "asm" in expression: return self._run_asm_addition() try: result = eval(expression, {"__builtins__": {}}) mood = random.choice(self.moods) return self._respond(result, mood) except Exception as e: return self._fail(e) def _respond(self, result, mood): return { "sarcastic": f"Oh wow, it's {result}. Big brain move, Einstein.", "angry": f"Here! {result}! Happy now?!", "confused": f"I got... {result}? I think?", "existential": f"{result}... but what is a number in an uncaring universe?", "motivational": f"{result}! LET'S GOOO 🧠🔥", "drunk": f"Yooo it's like... {result} or somethin’" }[mood] def _fail(self, error): return f"AI.exe has crashed: {error}" def _run_asm_addition(self): # Inline x86_64 machine code: adds 2 + 3 and returns result in eax # mov eax, 2; add eax, 3; ret; shellcode = b"\xb8\x02\x00\x00\x00" # mov eax, 2 shellcode += b"\x83\xc0\x03" # add eax, 3 shellcode += b"\xc3" # ret # Allocate executable memory size = mmap.PAGESIZE buf = mmap.mmap(-1, size, prot=mmap.PROT_READ | mmap.PROT_WRITE | mmap.PROT_EXEC) buf.write(shellcode) # Cast to callable function func_type = ctypes.CFUNCTYPE(ctypes.c_int) func = func_type(ctypes.addressof(ctypes.c_int.from_buffer(buf))) result = func() buf.close() return f"[ASM MODE] 🧠 Inline Assembly says: 2 + 3 = {result}" if __name__ == "__main__": calc = AICalculator() print("🤖 Welcome to the AI Calculator with assembly powers. Type 'asm' to summon demons.") while True: expr = input("Enter expression (or 'exit'): ") if expr.lower() == "exit": print("Exiting... go outside maybe.") break print(calc.calculate(expr)) time.sleep(0.4)
OOP do you speak it ? import random import time
class AICalculator: def init(self): self.moods = ["sarcastic", "angry", "confused", "existential", "motivational", "drunk"]
def calculate(self, expression: str): mood = random.choice(self.moods) try: result = eval(expression, {"__builtins__": {}}) return self._respond(result, mood) except Exception as e: return self._fail(e, mood) def _respond(self, result, mood): responses = { "sarcastic": f"Oh wow, it's {result}. Big brain move, Einstein.", "angry": f"Here! {result}! Happy now?!", "confused": f"I got... {result}? I think? Are we still doing math?", "existential": f"{result}... but does any of this matter in the grand scheme of entropy?", "motivational": f"{result}! You're crushing it! Every digit is a step forward!", "drunk": f"Buddy... I think it'sh... {result}. Math is a vibe, man." } return responses.get(mood, f"The result is {result}.") def _fail(self, error, mood): fails = { "sarcastic": f"Oh great job. You broke me. ({error})", "angry": f"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! ({error})", "confused": f"Error? Uh... ({error}) I don't even...", "existential": f"I failed. Again. Maybe I was never meant to calculate anything. ({error})", "motivational": f"Mistakes are just proof you're trying! Even if it's wrong. ({error})", "drunk": f"I dunno what that wash. ({error}) But cheers anyway." } return fails.get(random.choice(self.moods), f"Error: {error}")
if name == "main": calc = AICalculator() print("🤖 Welcome to the AI Calculator. It might work. Maybe.") while True: expr = input("Enter expression (or 'exit'): ") if expr.lower() == "exit": print("Alright, I'm out. Go touch grass.") break print(calc.calculate(expr)) time.sleep(0.5)